Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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