I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
