I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
