what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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