this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
