covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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