my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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