Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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