his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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