It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
