Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
