the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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