i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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