So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
