I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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