I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
