Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
