if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need water and some morals
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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