I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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