I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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