But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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