omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
