Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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