Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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