I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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