her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
