Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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