Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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