I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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