Already got asked if we're dating
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
