i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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