I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
