My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
