He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I will pee on everything he values.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Panties = found
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
