Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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