yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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