Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
