i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize