I'm jealous of your bromance
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
