We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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