Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Pants are for mortals
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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