My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
