Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
