those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
