I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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