My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
