I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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