He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
