He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I puked a lego.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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