I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
