I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
