dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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