he shaved USA in his pubs
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
