Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
