Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
