I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
