Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
