who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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