Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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