Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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