i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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