One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
