I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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