I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
