he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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