I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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